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Joke time todo na to

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1 Joke time todo na to on Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:13 am

(Saan Nga Ba?)


A naked girl rode on a taxi..."Bakit" asked the girl at the driver na nakatitig sa katawannya, "Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?"The driver replied, "Hindi po miss, iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago pamasahemo."...



(Security Guard)

Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"Army: "No pain, No gain!"Naks ayaw patalo ang Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"...



(Paniki)

A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy...Baby: Does this mean I am an angel???Fairy: (laughs) Of course not! 'Tong negrang 'to! Ambisyosa! PANIKI ka!!


(Pure Milk)

Tindero: Hoy, bili ka gatas ng baka? P10 piso lang isang baso.Manong: Ang mahal naman, may tig piso lang nyan?Tindero: Meron po, pero kayo na po ang dumede sa baka.


(Pedro)

KONSEHAL: Paki acknowledge si Mayor. Late dumating, hayun kararaan lang!
PEDRO (Emcee): I WUD LYK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE LATE MAYOR HU JUST PASSED AWAY.


(SH)

Pedro: may ka-eyebol aq mamya.. anu kya itsura nia?
kc sbi nya kamkha dw cia celebrity.. "SH" amg cmula
ng name...
Juan: jackpot ka, Pedro! Bka SHeri or SHaina!
(matapos ang eyebol, uwi c Pedro)
Juan: kmusta eyebol mo? Bakit ka mlungkot?
Pedro: "SHrek" amp



(Libing)


Juan: San ka galing?

Pedro: sementeryo, libing ng byenan ko.

Juan: E bakit puro kamot ang mukha at braso mo?

Pedro: Mahirap ilibing eh... Lumalaban!!



(jalibee)



Hari: Ano gusto mong parusa? ipakain sa leon o pasukan ng bubuyog sa ilong?

Pedro: Mas gugustuhin ko pong pasukan ng bubuyog sa ilong.

Hari: Mga kawal! ilabas si Jolibee!



(Mahalay)


GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!

BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!

GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!


(Side - B)


A mental patient is singing while lying on a hospital bed.
after a song dumapa sya
the nurse asked...
"O, bakit ka bumaliktad?"
he answered:
"Addict ka ba?! Side B na kaya!"



(Misis)


Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa kanto namin

(dumaan ang mister nya...)

Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?

Mister: Yoko sayo kamukha mo misis ko!





(Stepen Spielberg)

A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...

Spielberg hit the chinese...

Chinese: why you hit me?

Spielberg: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor, my father died there.

Chinese: but I am chinese not Japanese, stupid!

Spielberg: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same!

... chinese punched Spielberg

Spielberg: why you hit me too?

Chinese: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.

Spielberg: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!

Chinese: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!




(Magasawa)




A Husband came home 4AM and saw his wife in bed with another man

His wife shouted at him,

"Where have you been?"

Husband: "Who is that man?!?"

Wife: "Grabe ka! Dont change the topic!!"




(For Hire)


Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?

Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!

Pedro: Nagseselos ka?

Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!



(Tagumpay)

Mommy 1: Ano ang pinapainom mo sa baby mo?
Mommy2: Promil para Matatag na Pangarap! eh ikaw?
Mommy3: Ako? Emperador, sa Totoong Tagumpay!


(Gerlfrend)


Pare 1: Pare, sa wakas nag ka GF na rin ako!!
Pare 2: Bakit!?! Ngayon ka lang ba nagka GF?
Pare 1: OO pare! sobrang higpit kasi ni Misis eh! Ngayon lang ako nakalusot!


(Bisaya)



Bisaya 1: " Gara ng kutsi, siguro kay Miyur iyan."!

Bisaya 2: " Dili bay!"

Bisaya 1: " Kay Hipi?"

Bisaya 2: " Tuntu ka man. Kay FATHER iyan. Gisulat niya sa likud o,"'SAFARI'."



(Hell)

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.

HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO HELL",

Kaya ito uwi agad ako.



(kawawa)


Sino mas kawawa? yung taong iniwan ng mahal nya?
o mga taong nagmamahal ng walang gusto sa kanya?
pareho lang di ba?
pero mas kawawa yung taong...
bihis na bihis na tapos...
hindi naman pala kasama !?![/QUOTE]

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